If you haven't been to Frog, you need to go to Frog. It's in Hollywood on Selma and Cahuenga next to a place that douses french fries in even more fat and another place where they play bingo. Anyhow, go to Frog. OR better yet, have them deliver! Because they actually do that.

What you're looking at is peanut butter and chocolate fro-yo covered in Oreos, dark chocolate chips, strawberries and blueberries. And then an empty cup. I'd like to see you last more than five minutes.

Seriously, TJ's can do no wrong. Not only do they sell the best toilet paper, the best frozen foods section, and the best cheap wine selection - they now have this. So far I've put it on green beans, lavash bread, bell pepper, tomatoes, bread, Beyond Chick'n, celery, and a spoon straight to my mouth. Also, I mix it into Earth Balance for an artichoke dipping sauce. Here's the thing, don't look at the nutritional info. Just don't.

​Side note - artichokes are really really good for you.

I'm one of those people that brings my lunch to work every day for a number of reasons. It saves me money, I know everything I'm eating, I can watch my calorie intake, and because I'm just really good at making salads. Everyday a new coworker tells me how pretty my salads look and how they wish they had the time to make their lunch. To which I always respond, "I'm super lazy. This took five minutes." So, this week is the week of salads! One a day and none taking more than five minutes. If you don't have five minutes in your day to make food...then stop spending your time reading this and make food!

1. Rip up all the kale and put in bowl
2. Chop the beets, slice the hearts of palm, chop the avocado, chop the chicken, and throw all in bowl.
3. Put in a tupperware and take to work.
​4. Add dressing and eat.

The thing I miss most from when I used to eat animal products is caesar salad. I know, random. I've tried to make it a million times (stay posted for final recipe!) and the one thing always missing is parmesan. I've tried the ground veg parmesan but it's just not the same. I miss that shaved or shredded parmesan that I would load by the handfuls onto my salad while also spooning handfuls directly into my mouth. So really, I just miss parmesan. However, there's no way I'd harm an animal for it. But now Follow Your Heart has saved the day as they always do. Introducing the life changing....

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to eat this out of the tub until it's gone.

So somewhere along the way, something happened and I wasn't born Chloe Coscarelli. I've made peace with it. Basically, she's my girl crush. Young, entrepreneurial, friends with the kitchen, cruelty-free, always smiling, and somehow her lipstick never fades or smudges. She's basically, the best. For a dinner party last night, I made her Bruschetta with Balsamic Reduction. When I first read the name I was like..."Balsamic reduction? No clue what it is but never gonna happen." Turns out it was so easy and seriously made bruschetta into something completely new, and obviously better. A first step to becoming friends with the kitchen and having lipstick that never smudges. And mastering appetizers. And hopefully one day becoming BFFs with Chloe Coscarelli.

1. Preheat oven to 425 
2. In a large bowl, toss the tomatoes, basil, garlic, vinegar, 1 tbs. oil, salt, and pepper. Set aside to let marinate.
3. Place the bread slices on a baking tray and drizzle lightly with olive oil. Bake 5-8 minutes or until lightly browned.
4. In a small pan, cook the reduction vinegar over medium-low heat until it comes to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, uncovered, for 20 minutes or until it's a thick syrupy consistency.
5. Remove the vinegar from heat and stir in the maple syrup. Set this aside.
6. When the bread is done, top each slice with the tomato mixture and then drizzle the reduction on top.
7. Impress your friends with your skills.

I know I technically have "enough" bags but I technically will never have "enough" bags. And I didn't have this one. But now I do. If you haven't shopped Urban Expressions, you should. Now.

This one only gets better the longer it sits. In fact, I usually make it the night before I want to eat it so it can start marinating itself. Is that even a thing? Marinating itself? Either way, I make a huge bowl and then eat small bowls of it all week long. How much easier can it get than making it once and eating it for five days? Super low calorie, super filling, and super easy to make - as is everything at i'mgonnaneedmorefries since the kitchen and I just disagree a lot.

1. Roughly chop half the head of iceberg lettuce. Put in bowl.
2. Chop the cucumber and put in bowl. You're going to want to have cucumber, lettuce, and tomatoes being your biggest ingredients so measure compared to how much of the other veggies you're putting in. Some cucumbers are huge and some are tiny, so if it's huge you may only want 3/4 of it and if it's tiny, you may need two!
3. Chop half the package of mushrooms and put in bowl. 
4. Chop 5-6 radishes and put in bowl.
5. Chop half the bell pepper and put in bowl.
6. Rinse the garbanzo beans under cold water in a strainer and put all into the bowl.
7. Chop all the tomatoes and put in bowl.
8. Chop 2 stems of scallions and put into bowl. Use all parts of scallion from green stem to white bulb.
9. Add chopped parsley if you want. I add chopped parsley to anything I can.
10. Add salt to your liking, cover in saran wrap, and put in the fridge.
11. By the next morning the tomatoes and cucumbers should have juiced a bit giving flavor to the whole salad. If you need more salt, add it and add lemon juice if that's your thing.
12. Eat all week. The soggier the better!

Seriously, who knew polenta was the next kale? OK, maybe no one...yet. Let me be the first to say, polenta is the new kale. And this recipe has me bailing on dinner plans to stay home and cook. Oh, and it's under 400 calories. You're welcome.

1. Cook polenta.
2. While polenta is cooking, warm the chopped onion and garlic in a pan until the onion starts to brown.
3. Once the polenta is done, immediately add the ricotta and mix together with just a pinch of salt. 
4. Add in the onions and garlic.
5. Sautee the tomatoes in the olive oil and dust lightly with garlic powder.
6. Add the tomatoes to the polenta.
7. Add chopped (or torn) Beyond Meat Chicken.
8. Add capers and basil.
9. Try not to lick the bowl clean. I dare you.

Remember when you were twelve and your mom brought you to the doctor because you refused to wear your backpack on both shoulders because it was cool to wear it on only one shoulder and now your back hurt? And then the doctor was like, yeah, due to this backpack situation and your need to be cool you've developed slight scoliosis? Oh, that didn't happen to you? Well it happened to me. And repeated itself as an adult.

As an adult, I now carry a tote to and from work every day filled with my laptop, hand lotion, wallet, lip gloss pouch, water bottle, a nail kit, a book, and a million more random items that I promise myself I'm going to need. It is so so heavy. And you know what? I brought myself to the doctor because my back hurts. Solution is - this ridiculously stylish, sexy, non-teenager, faux leather backpack from the Dolce Vita x Target collaboration! For only $30, my back is on it's way to pain free. Which is wayyyy less than what my doctor bill came to. 

If you also want to save your back, you can get yours here. 

I have this horrible habit I do while watching TV - it's online shopping. I really should stop watching TV... BUT, look at the new Bamboo wedges I got from Lulu's! Super comfortable and of course, cruelty free because wearing dead animal skin on your feet, or anywhere, is gross. 

You can order yours here.